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All the self-help books are filled with praise of meditation and its benefits. Meditation is said to be a powerful tool against anxiety and a way to find the inner peace and happiness. All the inspirational quotes how meditation helps you become more you; and how quieting your mind would allow the inner soul to speak louder sounded fairly crazy but increasingly intriguing to me. So I tried it. And liked it.

Since the beginning of the year 2020, the year when I actually change my habits in order to have that happiness I want instead of just floating helplessly, I have meditated almost in daily basis. I have gained more inner peace but also a power, as I now have a weapon against the anxiety. I know that when the world starts collapsing around me, there is a way to break the downward spiral by stopping and sinking into my inner knowing. It is a relief. Moreover, meditation helps me to know myself better and self reflect.

Here is one self-reflection activity from the Smiling Mind app I use. Let's do it!

So the point here is to find a happy picture and list the things what is needed in order to be as happy again. Well as my plan is not to be super needy, but to be able to speak out and tell what I want, I will rather use the statement I want instead of I need. And as me is narcissistic, there will be more than one picture...

1. I want to be supported and heard

These pics show the people who support me. Lovely people, luv them. Miss them all! These pics of course do not show the exact moments when the support is the most vital, but it shows the people who I count on and who truly make me happy. Just by looking at these pics I get this warm fuzzy feeling because I know I've got some awesome friends who are always there if I need to be heard and supported. lovelovelove. And there is even more!

2. I want to be cared for

I know I could add all the happy pics from above to this section too, but here is more.

The family pics were chosen to represent this caring thingy as the family does not always seem to be fully supportive, but I know that they truly care for me and they are just worried sometimes. Even though I tend to get defensive af when the family questions my plans hahah I know they just mean good after all. Just caring! Definitely tons of happy memories with these people, always get to feel cared for and safe with them, and it makes me thrive

3. I want to have fun

Honestly, there would have been about one thousand other pics but these are fine. Funfunfun! For me the fun usually includes a party, or a trip or a music event. Lots of hyper activity and socializing. I think as I have grown older, these funfun events take a bigger toll on me and the recovery takes ages so I do not seek for them as often as I used to...Regardless of that, at least a concert a year, couple of big parties and a few trips are included on my plant-tag.

4. I want to chill

Chilling is not so much different from the fun I was speaking about earlier. For me the chill means just a bit more easy-going fun. Often chilling does not include other people and therefore I do not have many photos where I just relax, read a book, eat a snack, walk around or watch trash TV. But luckily I was able to find some pictures anyways! The biggest difference between these chill and the earlier fun moments is that the chill moments involved more time affluence, like there was not a special event going on nor the feeling of now or never. Chill is more about those daily sweet moments which keep me thriving.

5. I want to feel free

Feeling of freedom is difficult to catch into a photo. But I chose these three travel pictures to represent my desire to feel free in order to be happy. Travelling is freedom. It means that I have snatched out the necessary routine and finally free to do whatever I want to. And oh, how I love that feeling. But getting back home is often so sad, I feel like the freedom is ripped away from me and I am stuck with those responsibilities like studying and work... Therefore, my new mission is to have the sensation of freedom every day. I am slowly trying to figure out how to arrange my life in a way that I will not feel so trapped anymore. I believe that sooner or later I'll be able to thrive on the feeling of freedom every day.

6. I want to be around animals

Oh well all the pics have doggos in them, but I think every kind of animal brings me the similar happiness boost. Interacting with an animal or even just seeing one makes you somehow connect with the world and get you out of your own head for a moment. Animals are just wonderful, and having a pet is like the best thing ever. Especially if the pet is Pyni

Pets just have this unconditional love towards you, and by taking care of them you really know that you're making a difference in their lives. It's beautiful but hard to explain hahah. Anyways, I have realized how old animals, well especially dogs, are so extremely precious and one big dream of mine is to have an old-animal sanctuary later in life :)

These six big categories came up to my mind first and I think this is enough for the day. This activity was lots of fun to do and I learned a lot. I highly recommend doing this kind of practices, as you really get to know yourself better. Additionally, just going through the pictures was a wonderful experience and made me very happy and grateful for all the great things I have in my life :)

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